Conquering The Binge Eating Monster
When I talk about my past and how I ate my emotions I don't know if everyone fully understands it. In fact, I didn't even understand I had an unhealthy relationship with food - I had relied on food for most of my life that it was normal to me. But the reality is that my emotions controlled when I ate and how much I ate - happy, sad, anxious (especially when I was anxious), nervous, scared, lonely, etc.. I know that most of the time when I over ate it was because of my damn emotions. The facts are that low levels of serotonin (neurotransmitter responsible for mood stabilizer among other things) are increased with foods like sweets, starches and carbohydrates. As serotonin increases the happy feeling takes over which is something very desirable.
At an early age, I was rewarded with food (this is fairly common in most families). When I would do well in sports or school my mom would bring me to McDonalds but it also happened if I was feeling 'down' or even sick. McDonalds was always there to make me feel better. Like most children from my generation McDonalds was the place to be and we all loved it. It always brought comfort into my life and because of that I associated it with happy feelings and a place I wanted to be at often (especially when I would feel anxious or worried). Can you see how this viscous cycle started for me from a very young age?
As I became an adult and my emotions got more intense and complicated so did my relationship with food. My first year university had emotions running high 24/7 and that meant I reached for comfort food every time I had the chance but I didn't realize what I was doing when I was choosing chocolate milk over skim milk or pizza pockets over a more balanced meal. I just thought it was convenient (and it was) but I lived in an apartment where I could easily cook quick meals if I had chosen to do so.
So, what's the issue? Eat sweets, starches and carbohydrates so serotonin levels can increase to create the happy feeling (which btw occurs pretty quickly). The problem comes with what happens to the rest of the body. The pancreas produces insulin which escorts sugar to where it is needed. The more sugar ingested the more insulin will be made. If too much insulin is made (by ingesting too much sugar and hence having an insulin spike) it ends up being metabolized by the body and stored as, you guessed it, fat.
In short, this is essentially how I gained so much weight and felt sluggish all the time because I wasn't ingesting the proper foods for my vitamins and minerals. I was obese but malnourished because I wasn't eating the proper foods. And here is the real kicker...the more sugar you eat the more fucked up your serotonin levels can become which creates a dependency on sugar. That's right - like a damn drug. I was literally an addict of sugar, starchy and high carbohydrate foods for years. And just like any habit/dependency it's a tough cycle to break.
Like I said at the start of the article I had no idea I even had an issue with food. I made plenty of excuses but even at the time didn't realize they were excuses. I always had a reason it was 'okay' to eat the sugar. "I'm feeling stressed" or "it's free" (as a student that was always a big one) or "I need to relax" or "everyone else is having cake, I may as well too". Honestly, I could always justify why I was eating which was really just a lie to myself to make it 'okay'.
Once I realized what was happened (the first step really is recognition) I had to learn to overcomes those excuses/reasons and take control of my life. Learning to recognize the issue will help you deal with the issue. BTW guilt doesn't work or it didn't work with me. Obviously, we all know what foods we should be eating but we don't...instead our sticky little fingers are always reaching for the sugar/salty treats.
So what are some things that I have done (and continue to do) to stop eating my feelings away?
1. Fuel your body with proper foods. Seems simple but it isn't. For years, I struggled to find balance with all the food groups. Remember the Canada Food Guide? Use it. For me, the nutrition plan from Beachbody saved me and taught me about food and portion size. It's not something I used for 21 days and tossed in the corner. Instead it's something that I use in my every day life. It isn't just containers it's a teaching tool.
2. Eat the complex carbs. Yeah, I'm talking white sugar and white bread (the good stuff) but there's plenty of healthier carbs - brown rice and oatmeal are great examples. Seriously, they taste really good too you just have to give them a try.
3. Manage your emotions. Yes, this is so hard to do but it's necessary. If you get stressed easily then take time out of your day to de-stress. I know long hot baths have helped me more than I ever though imaginable.
4. Determine what makes you eat. This is also tough but when you feel yourself get into that binge state ask yourself what else is going on in your life? For the longest time, I was binge eating when really I should have been taking a nap because I was so tired. But I didn't recognize I was tired...instead I just turned to food.
5. Train your mind. I talk about this over and over and over again. I think this has been one of the biggest changes for me. Replace a habit (binge eating) with another habit (colouring, taking a bath, walking, etc). You believe what you tell yourself so start talking to yourself with positive words. As we know habits take at minimum 21 days to create so repeat your new habit for 21 days and see how you feel after that.
6. Talk to someone. Call family or friends or send someone a text and tell them how you feel. I would feel so alone during my binge eating sessions but never told anyone anything. By telling someone what's going on they may be able to help you overcome the need to binge.
7. Write down your goals. I am a goal setter and a goal crusher. I've learned that setting up goals for myself helps me better myself each day and keeps me away from the fridge. Plus, the feeling of accomplishing a goal is way better than any food (trust me! I've had both feelings).
8. Don't worry about that damn scale. I admit it. I use to step on that scale a lot...like every time I was in the bathroom (it was bad at one point in my life) but I realized a better indicator of weight loss success is actually pictures and/or clothes. I measure most of my progress this way now.
9. Find your passion. I have found so many things that I love that I never thought I would just because I continued to say 'yes' to things (other than food). For example, I started blogging and cannot get enough. I would have never considered myself a blogger but I gave it a chance and now look at me (even if there's only a few people who read my blog - I do it for me. It's a great way to put down my feelings and track my progress).
10. Join a group or class. Along with finding a passion, being social can help (even if your pretty anti-social like myself). You could try a yoga class or rock climbing class or even virtual FB groups and accountability groups (like the ones I run monthly). It's a great way to meet new people and get active.
11. Ditch the negativity in your life. Okay, first you have to recognize the negativity which can be hard to do especially if you start realizing the people closest to you are a bunch of 'Debbie Downers'. When I looked around, I realized I was in a toxic negative environment so over the years I slowly changed that. Changing your environment helps change your mind set too. All of a sudden, you will start thinking more positively about yourself. WIN WIN!
12. Stop trying to be perfect. Give yourself a break! This one has been tough for me. I use to promise myself things if I was able to stick with my meal plans and workouts but even if I stuck with it I wouldn't reward myself. Instead I would tell myself 'okay do it again' (because after I did it I still didn't think I was worthy of a reward). The opposite was also true. If I ended up in a binge cycle I would beat myself up...which usually ended in a bunch of tears. Listen we are all human and part of this process if you are anything like me is learning to love yourself - everything...even your 'flaws' (or what you think are 'flaws'). At one point in time I hated myself inside and out but now I have so much love for myself (inside and out). Strive for progress not perfection.
Emotional binge eating is one hell of a monster to overcome but once you beat the beast you feel free because you are finally controlling your life again rather than the monster controlling it for you. It's not easy and I won't even pretend that it is but I promise you that it really is worth the struggle. Don't give up on yourself. You will have days of darkness but as you continue to try you will eventually have more days of light and less days of dark until most of your days are filled with light. I hope I can be your light during your darkness since I have plenty of light to share now.
