Remembering My Past Now And Forever
This girl is me before I even considered working out or eating well (in fact, it was another 1.5 years before I decided to start my journey). I ate my emotions every chance I had. I stayed in the house as much as I could (unless there was alcohol involved - which was just another escape for me). I avoided mirrors because I didn't like what I saw back (I didn't love myself at all - inside or out) and eventually my scale just started to collect dust because I was too scared to step on it (since I was continually seeing the weight increase - it was just easier to avoid it). I knew I was spiraling out of control BUT I had no control over what I was eating (or how much I was eating). I saw food and I ate no matter how much I felt like I wanted change. It was the only thing in my life that made me feel happy and comforted (even if it was only for short periods of time). I felt alone in life even though I had friends and family...but I was withdrawing from them though which made me feel even worse and I didn't know how to fix it. It's my past - it's a part of me and I am not ashamed to share it with all of you. In fact, it's stories like this that I have read in my past (and continue to read) that help motivate and inspire me so why would I ever keep my story away from all of you? You see how far I've come and where I am headed. You see my passion for being healthy (it's the driving force behind everything I do). My big 'wake up' was when I was struggling to walk up stairs without getting winded - I had to stop to get my breath and I was just 25 years old. I knew that if I continued the life I was living I would have major health issues in no time (something that is super scary to someone like myself who wants to live as long as they possible can). I remember saying to myself 'I want to go into my 30's healthy, happy and loving myself because I'm not happy with the life I am living now' and that's exactly what I did. Yes, it didn't happen over night - my transformation has been years in the making but it's a transformation both inside and out. I've changed the way I think and I've changed the way I live. I've cried. I've sweated. I've laughed. I've yelled. I've complained. I've struggled. And so will you but all of it is worth it. If you ever need an extra boost, a way to get started or just someone to chat with I'm just a message away. <3
